really?

Jan 9th 25 years ago I came into this world. Nowhere near I thought I would be at my age but heck who is right ?? My birthday this year was not like my usual birthdays other than I ate cake for 2 straight weeks. I'm grateful though to see the age 25 I'm aware I'm still at a very ripe age and have much to acquire & inquire. Thank you to High Life salon for the unbelievably gorgeous and scrumptious cake and all those who remembered my day.

perfection.

A week with you my boy is a week I couldn't fathom trading. You were so captivating to me and you mended a piece of me when I wasn't feeling myself. Days filled looking at the world through your eyes changed me in a small yet significant way.

Grahm I was nervous to be your care taker for a week to be honest, I wasn't sure you were going to like me. It took you just a few short hours and it was like I was your best friend.

Every moment with you was delightful in every sense of the word.

The moment your mom & dad left for their trip I broke down and cried, I felt overwhelmed that they would entrust me with you, their most beloved creation. I prayed so sincerely for the Lord's help and protection over you. I hadn't been a good place and didn't feel even worthy for my prayer to be answered but I pleaded that for your sake he would aid me if anything were to happen to you.

Our week consisted of a lot of Thomas The Train and Cars. I love how you were able to entertain yourself but yet you preferred me to play along most of the time. I felt accepted and apart of your little world when you would grab my hand and would say, "Meme try it "

Grahm I took you on little outings to the library, the pet store and you even let me hit up a few vintage stores without a fuss. You helped me pick out some great vintage finds and even laughed at me as I changed in and out of outfits jumping out in each dress to surprise you. At the pet store you didn't care too much about the puppies but you sure did like the birds & fishes, you couldn't get enough of them !!

You and I danced in the kitchen together to my music.. you'd try to mimic some of my moves and you fell once you got back up you tried doing it again haha. Night Night time was a breeze with you .. I would sing to you, read to you, pray with you and you'd go down without a tear. In the mornings when I would come into your room became my favorite part of the day because you would let me hold you for just a moment before I would get you ready. You would sink into my arms and I would just melt.

I got to spend my birthday with you and to celebrate we went out for some Idaho potato made donuts which you hand one taste and said, "yucky meme"

Every now and then we would get frustrated with each other a bit because I couldn't understand what you were trying to tell me and you didn't understand me. So I would just start to laugh when you'd get this puzzled look on your face it just cracked me up.

You little boy are perfection. You'll never be fully capable of knowing just how loved you are. I felt just a fraction of that love that your parents have for you and that our Heavenly Father has for you. Our week together is something I'll never forget. I don't just say that Grahm because it sounds promising and nice but because I wont. My heart aches for a little one of my own and to have that all encompassing love that my brother Eric & your mother Dallas have. So thank you for refreshing my memory of what I want to strive for and the kind of mother I want to be. I pray that one day I can be blessed with a little boy as perfect as you.

Your aunt meme loves you very much because you loved me so effortlessly back.

wrapped up & delivered

The holiday's were a trip to say the least. Not gonna lie it was a difficult one for me this year. the puking children coughing and crying didn't seem to distract my mind that I was alone this Christmas. I love my family we are a dynamic bunch when we get together there is bound to be some entertaining moments.

The week long festivities started off with the annual home run derby. Dr. Spencer Wells took the trophy with 18 home run's (I think) with my brother Eric close behind him. Better luck next year my brother. Then all Sullivan, Wells & Webb families squeeze into my grandma mothers home where we of course eat but more importantly we play ! We played minute to win it which was a refreshing new twist to the evening, years past it's been a game of family feud. After the long anticipated wait we all open our box of count chocula cereal thank grandma with a hug & kiss then it's off to bed with us all... It's one of my favorite evenings of the year. Not only do I get to be surrounded by my own gorgeous nieces and nephews but all of my cousins kids are there and they are all so breathtakingly adorable & entertaining.

Christmas Day was the start of the chain reaction puke fest at the Sullivan home. My poor little nieces that were staying with us got so sick it was one kid after the other. There was also a strain of a cold going around too as well so no one in the house was safe. So needless to say we were confined to the house like we were under quarantine.

We did however venture out for walks and a little hike up the red cliffs in town with the little ones. I thoroughly enjoyed taking the girls down to the farm, my brother Neal showed the girls the many "treasures down at the farm" oh how I wish these babies could know this farm as I did. My heart aches to know that soon it will be gone, leveled to house many homes.

The Sullivan farm is truly my souls comfort and consoling place, a place where I feel closest to the most pivotal relationships I had growing up being with my grandpa & Dad. My children will never know these men here at the farm as I knew them. My heaven wouldn't be heaven without a sunny afternoon sitting with these two men under the shade of the "office tree" (pictured above).

One event I have loved since a young age is to go out target shooting with my brothers. I didn't shoot to badly considering I'm seeing so poorly with my right eye these days. (see the target picture above) It's such a bonding time I rarely get with these amazing brothers of mine they have their wives and families to tend to but for a brief moment we are like kids again shooting at old vhs tapes or milk jugs haha. Love these men!

Thank you to my lovely family for your never ceasing love and support during this very up & down year of mine.

Any who to wrap Christmas up and to be done with blogging it now... feels great!