After much frustrated prayer Matthew and I have chosen to divorce.
I share this news with you all because I want everyone to know how mutual and loving this decision is for us. Matthew and I love each other very much and ultimately want the best for each other and what we would have to sacrifice to make our marriage work would be detrimental to our individual happiness. I see always a respectful and close friendship with Matthew but I know I will have to grieve a little over the life I had envisioned with Matthew.
Oh but how grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who gives me trials and comes to my aid so that I may learn and become a stronger woman. I have such a better understanding of myself and what I need to be happy. I've been so blessed with the gift of realization and comfort. I have been given an unmistakable sense of peace knowing this was right for both of us! I'm so grateful for the lessons learned and the time we shared together ... I don't feel like a failure or have huge amounts of regret. I know that we put forth a lot of effort into making it work but all in all the decision has been made so .. I have an overwhelming sense that I can be able to move forward with youthful vigor and with a bright hope for the future.
I must express much appreciated love to the entire Kirk family. I know I must have at times been very hard to understand I was very quiet. I kept to myself a lot because I was in such an ugly place I didn't recognize myself.. that still doesn't excuse my neglect as a daughter in law for that I deeply apologize. You all are such choice people and I will never forget you individually and collectively. You all showed me so much beauty in the simple things of this life. You have enlightened my mind in countless ways and I am so greatly indebted to you all. I'm so sorry for any hurt or discomfort I may have caused you, your brother, son or grandson Matthew.. please know it wasn't my intent. What love I will carry with me throughout my life for you all .
I need to also thank my own family for their love and support. You warn me of dangers, you strive to protect me from hardships, and I have an overwhelming sense of that love you all have for me .. To my friends thank you for staying on the phone when I know you are so busy with work and school.. I'm sure there were other things you were doing when I called but thank you for being so understanding and your overall concern for me . To my lil dancer girls how heart wrenching it was to have to leave you .. dance with all the passion of your heart and knock'em dead at competition and the upcoming recital .... keep in touch too
There is truely so much I have to be thankful for !! I'm so scared yet excited to move back to St. George, my home! I have missed it's unique beauty and I pray that with the unfortunate new title I bear of being a divorcee will not overshadow the beauty there.
So what's next you may ask ?? I have a lot of things I wanna do and accomplish like run a 5k, join a performing dance group, sing in Norm Listers choir, travel, work at a salon, go to school studying Interior or Architectural design, and possibly study abroad !!
Stay tuned and see what happens next for me ...
